pretendingweare existing.

JE SUIS

INFORMATION

name: k.
country:singapore
gender: female

She reads too much(especially slash hpfanfiction and foxtrot), writes instinctive poetry, lives by the law of procrastination,possesses the characteristic traits of a couch potato, occupies her time with swearing at Math's disharmony with her dysfunctional brain and craves dictatorship in the confines of her room where she plots to take over the world and turn all the humans into rabbits.

She doesn't like The Angst. The Angst is what happens when teenagers write bad poetry and listen to Hawthorne Heights and think they're deep. She used to like The Angst. She is older and wiser now.

And lastly, she supports gay rights, circumstancial choice-making and speaking in 3rd person tonalities.

FAIS UN VOEUX

WISHLIST

sponsored supply of frappucinos
death by overeating of chocolate
archery license
steve guyger's latest album
france!
camera hood + 50mm macro lens
Canon E0S 40D

Saturday, September 01, 2007

♠

Remember when you had been my muse,
Featured in my fairytale,
And I framed your smile in a moment,
Conversations memorised frontwards, back.

So now why does it feel like I am the one in control?

The wildest thing I have done in Primary School is climb into the school bookdrop. It was an action instigated by overwhelming responsibility on our part. The library door was locked and our teacher required something from within. I suppose our frantic brains could not have theorized the existence of a key which might have settled our dilemma, but the only viable option we could see then was to crawl into the bookdrop to access the library.

To a twelve year old, it was ingenious. Our in-school adventures were limited to prefectorial duty evasions and skeetering down staircase railings with the agility of a hunched sloth. Mind you, we were convinced that we were progressively becoming pre-teen delinquents. Not that it did stop us, the thrill of doing something remotely out of boundaries held a new dimension for us - a dimension we wanted to thoroughly explore before we left the school only with half-hearted memories of shuttered giggles and placid eleven-year old gossip(him and her, her and him).

The school bookdrop was new. It opened into a cupboard which respectively opened into the library. It was a new installation and while students might have appreciated the convenience, I am sure no one thought of using it as an alternate entrance to the library. Uh, most preferred the door. Ten minutes of flailing arms and conspicuously protruding legs, we made it in.

I do want to return to those years. Wishful thinking, on my part but I want to pretend I do not have life waiting at the threshold to swallow me whole and spit me out. I want to embrace a fantasy riddled with delusions, but growing up has presented me with a whirlwind of experiences and lessons. I think forsaking my naïve fantasy is worth all that.

1:50 AM